A Satirical Guide to Indonesian politicians - Photo: www.azies-site.blogspot.com
One time I was watching this TV program called Metro Kick Andy and there was this woman poor who kept changing her name when she was younger because she was still suffering from poor health. Unsurprisingly, she can not do better. But after changing its name for the umpteenth time, guess what? She actually stopped getting sick! Wonders of all wonders! Apparently, she had finally found the "good" name and was now destined to live a long and healthy life -. And until his death, of course
Anyway, what with the forthcoming general elections in Indonesia, it made me wonder; that the politicians of the country? They are blessed with the 'right' name or not? No, we do not have to worry about what politicians actually believe or what policies they intend to implement. What really matters are their names!
But how do we interpret them?
Well actually it is not so difficult because there 'anagrammaticography', a popular tool that is noted for its amazing ability to draw accurately meaningful conclusions about political figures and their points views on a host of issues. Used since the Middle Ages, anagrammaticography really came to the fore in the 17th century, when it was noted that the anagram of "William Shakespeare" revealed the phrase "I am a weakish speller" (Shakespeare, of course, was noted for signing her name in at least seven different ways).
Although criticized by religious types like "the devil's work," the power of anagrammaticography policy can not be overlooked. An anagram of "Sarah Palin" reveals rather disturbing "plan Sharia" (I always suspected that the American religious right had a (sic) unholy alliance with the jihadists, then God thank you Barack Obama won the US presidential elections) incidentally, an anagram of Barack Obama arrives with 'Aback a Rambo.! - which strongly suggests that it is not quite the limp-wristed liberal that many believe it is
But how Indonesian politicians form !? well, here's a lowdown on some -uns of the biggest names from the political scene of Indonesia:
Megawati Sukarnoputri (PDIP) Although not noted for his intellectual acumen, Megawati is at least a housewife Adorable with a famous father
Verdict :. Wreak utopias maturation
Yusuf Kalla (Golkar / PKB) :. This pillar Golkar Party is the second child of 17. Although nationalist tendencies, it also supports the efforts of foreigners to do well in Indonesian society: "If janda [divorcees] get modest houses, although foreign tourists to leave later, then it is OK. the children of these relationships will have good genes.. There will be more of television actors and actresses of those pretty boys and girls "Strangely he was appointed by PKB their choice of a possible candidate for president in 2014 vice presidential
.: Verdict. Flaky usual
Aburizal Bakrie (Golkar) : One of the richest men in Indonesia (worth up to US $ 3-5 billion according to who you believe) and the protectorate of the poor, Aburizal has a less-than-enviable reputation in business and it is about as popular in east Java as an anorexic at a weight loss Convention
Verdict :. I bulky. Bazaar
Hatta Rajasa (PAN) : Solid minister with a good track record who married his daughter (Siti Ruby Aliya Rajasa) the youngest son of SBY Ibas.
Verdict :. This pot as
Gita Wirjawan (Democrat) :. men of very successful business and aspiring jazz musician
Verdict: Jaw grain wait
Surya Paloh (Nasdem) . media mogul who owns Metro TV, a national television station, which is noted for its tendency to employ warm and attractive newsreaders
Verdict :. hourly sap
Joko Widodo (PDIP) : the common man (! hurray) - but without the revolutionary zeal of a Hugo Chavez - Joko the favorite to win the presidency in a series of opinion polls.
Verdict :. wood OK Jodi
Dahlan Iskan (Democrat) : global automakers such as Toyota and Ford to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on testing to ensure their cars are roadworthy and safe to drive on public roads. These concerns do not bother Dahlan Iskan, however, and he drove around his flashy-looking electric car 'Ferrari' with wild abandon - before the brakes failed and the car crashed. Fortunately, nobody was injured, although the man self-made former Post and PLN Java remains a long shot for the presidency
Verdict :. Ha! nasal Kind
Rhoma Irama (PKB) :. Noted womanizer who is not ashamed to play the religious card, the prospect of this legendary dangdut singer become president sends shivers down my spine
Verdict :. Or I'm haram
Hary [ Tanoesoedibjo (Hanura) :. Lacking charisma, Hary was unable to produce a strong public image despite owning a number of television stations
Verdict: Oh dear! obeisant joy
Mohammad Mahfud (PKB) :. solid references, but lacks charisma
Verdict :. Hmm! Aha! Mad Mud
Yusril Ihza Mahendra (PBB) : .. leader of a party with no seats in parliament, the chances are slim Yusril at least
Verdict :. I'm crazy, lush diarrhea
now, for three ex noted generals
Wiranto (Hanura) crooner amateur with matinee good looks idol . Just do not mention East Timor or the May 1998 riots
Verdict:.! Rat Wino
Sutiyoso : Selfless and tireless worker for the people, the crowning of Jakarta Sutiyoso turned into a city of great cultural interest such as by establishing Asia South of "Venice of the East" (subject to sufficient rainfall)
Verdict :. so it's you
Prabowo Subianto (Gerindra) : UK-educated former head of Special Operations dreaded Indonesia, Kopassus. Now a socialist, apparently. The long-term plans to lead the country, and its financial resources which would have bet against him
Verdict:. Now absorb utopia (Now I wonder if it ever has to come true ...)
Conclusion
The anagrammaticography is fairly coarse, excludes many contenders - most of the time, including Wiranto, Rhoma Irama, Surya Paloh Bakrie and Gita Wirjawan. The leading candidate Joko Widodo has given a vote of confidence warm, but surprisingly, the analysis clearly suggests that Prabowo (now absorbed utopia!) Go win the presidential election with Sutiyoso (So it's you!) As his right arm ! The army to stay in power? Some things never change.
0 Komentar